hold your breath

Have you ever felt invincible

Unaccepted, unrecognised
Or maybe you are recognised but not in the way you would have liked
Like the faithful bestfriend in movies
Seen as perfect, reliable, fun etc but never perfect enough to be anything else 🙁

the one who has being there through thick and thin
Hoping one day he/she will wake up just to see how perfect you are together

then one day, you get tired of holding your breath, you decide to release
but then some innocent by stander comes to strengthen the small voice at the back of your head
You know the one…….
“what if i let go and he realises, what if i let go and God wants me to…….”

And so you quickly hold your breath, you see him with another but you endure

Even when approached by another
Who sees you the way you want him to see you
He’s not him so you ignore and endure not even willing to explore

Now you are bleeding internally, from holding your breath this long
holding on to the glimmer of hope he once gave you and words once spoken
your face begins to change colour
your vision gets blurred…. you see him yet again with another

You hear your voice… faint, tired and distant.. saying
“enough”
I can’t do this anymore

Like an inflated balloon with a tiny puncture
you release slowly
o dear- its painful

Tears stream down your face as if independent of you
Your heart contracts- feels like you are having a heart attack as your left arm feels paralyzed

You want to call for help
but you lye speechless- almost dead

you open your eyes slowly
anticipating the pangs of pain that would soon flood your being
BUT TO YOUR SURPRISE
songs of worship erupt from your inner being
The air seems fresher
you feel lighter
confused but grateful for the grace Your
TRUE LOVER has given you

And then you hear Him say

“Look up”

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